Episode 4

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Published on:

4th Aug 2026

What is Wrong With Me?

There's a particular kind of shame that shows up after you've reacted badly — the loud voice, the pushing, the moment you didn't recognise yourself. And underneath it, a question that's easy to ask and hard to answer: what is wrong with me?

This week, Sandra looks at that question differently — at fight, freeze, flight and fawn, and why the response you're most ashamed of might be the one you understand the least.

In this episode:

  • Why fight is the response we talk about the least — and the shame that comes from looking like the problem instead of someone who is scared
  • What's happening underneath the reaction, long before you've had a chance to think
  • The difference between understanding a response and excusing it
  • A question that might sit better than "what's wrong with me"

If something in this episode felt familiar, hit follow so you don't miss the next one. And if you want to go deeper, here's the link below to join my email list — that's where I share more of this work.

Journey Beyond the Chaos is a podcast for mothers loving an adult child with addiction. Each week, Sandra shares honest conversations, personal stories and practical insights to help you stay connected to your child without losing yourself in the process. Because there is another way.

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About the Podcast

Journey Beyond the Chaos — When Your Child Is Struggling With Addiction or Mental Health
For Mum's Loving a Child with Addiction or Mental Health
Loving a child who's struggling with addiction or mental health challenges can leave you exhausted, hypervigilant, and never quite sure whether you're helping or making things worse.
You've probably heard "just love them harder" on one side and "cut them off completely" on the other. But neither one reflects the reality of loving your child while trying to survive the chaos.
Journey Beyond the Chaos is for mums walking that road.
Each episode explores what it means to love your child without losing yourself — to stand differently in the relationship with greater steadiness, clearer boundaries, and less fear, no matter what your child chooses.
Rather than offering quick fixes, these conversations help you understand the patterns that keep you stuck — why you react the way you do, what drives urgency, guilt, and over-functioning, and how those responses shape the relationship over time.
You'll begin to see what's happening more clearly, learn how to respond instead of react, and start to shift the cycle in real moments of your life. Over time, this creates space to become a steadier influence and slowly rebuild a life that feels like yours again.
Grounded in current research, these conversations are warm, practical, and compassionate.
Hosted by Sandra — a certified health and mental health coach with training in evidence-based approaches for families navigating a loved one's addiction and mental health struggles, and a mum who has lived this too.
There is another way.